Funny Love Quotes

A great collection of some of the best funny love quotes.
  • Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.
    - Sandra J. Dykes
  • Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
    - Albert Einstein
  • Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
    - Erma Bombeck
  • An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
    - Agatha Christie
  • A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.
    - Mae West
  • Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
    - Samuel Johnson
  • I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
    - Woody Allen
  • By the time you swear you're his, shivering and sighing, and he vows his passion is infinite, undying... Lady, make note of this: One of you is lying.
    - Dorothy Parker
  • I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell my children that, they just about throw up.
    - Barbara Bush
  • To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the wedding cup,Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.
    - Ogden Nash
  • My wife and I were happy for 20 years, then we met.
    - Rodney Dangerfield
  • The most happy marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.
    - Coleridge
  • Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
    - Phyllis Diller
  • Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
    - Albert Einstein
  • You call it madness, but I call it love.
    - Don Byas
  • What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.
    - Pearl Bailey
  • Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.
    - Ambrose Bierce
  • Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.
    - Georg C. Lichtenberg
  • To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
    - Helen Rowland
  • The sincerest love is the love of food.
    - Bernard Shaw
  • A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
    - Zsa Zsa Gabor
  • Women marry men hoping they will change.
    Men marry women hoping they will not.
    So each is inevitably disappointed.
    - Albert Einstein
  • Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.
    -W. Somerset Maugham
  • If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
    - Lily Tomlin
  • I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
    - Rita Rudner
  • I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.
    - Patrick Murray
  • Do not marry a man to reform him. That is what reform schools are for.
    - Mae West
  • Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
    - George Burns.
  • A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
    - Milton Berle
  • To love and win, is the best thing. To love and lose, is the next best thing.
    - William M. Thackeray







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